how to love a girl who can't love herself.get lost under the sun, thenfight the break of dawn.i am nothing in the dark,so show mehome.walk with me,to the secret placewhere i met you (those turquoise city dreams)andwhen the sun goes down,when the moon shines,breathe inthis momenttreasure me,precious.(girl of the ocean, let's gosomewhere only we know.)glorious spring,please, i beg you.winter me gently, because the earth laughs in flowers, andthesered red roses, they're so beautifullybroken.
after all this time,my heart is trapped within lungs, andthe more i breathe, the more iremember- hecan't stand it sometimes,i knowwe're both broken.but ocean boy, i'm chained to you.(maybe i'll be an anchor) soon my lungs will breakwith me.itouch you through a gap in thefence- sand white asinnocence,eyes bright asstars.so please,horizon.tape us back together.
she's gone, she's gone.don't tell a broken girl withgrief pouring into the juts of her cheekbones,hunger suffocating into the curves of her ribs,that her eyes are madeof moonlightand her hair was weaved fromsunshine when you arelight years away and millennia too late
(she's the skeleton in her own closet)tell me your secrets, he whispered.i fell in lovewith a birch once, she replied, because it wasthe most beautiful shade oflonely. one more trip to the bathroom tonight-some days,she'll get drunk with him,some days,she'll get drunk alone.gods, she cut her hair,she cut her wrists(and don't forget her neck)but she says she isso glad she spent the nightentangled inhimhimhim(love, make wishes on my ribs)
things that fall apart2:36, new york city, i canimagine youlooking out your window,watching the cars pass by instead of the waves, andsomething isn't right, because there's ocean in your blood andi anchor you.love,you still believe in the girl i used to be, butshe's been gone longer than this white sky summer.
NaPoWriMo Day 1this sun-kissed heart,this raven haired girl, -dainty birch wristsshe will never be a poeti look out the window (and i goddamn miss you)a million miles apartand wish thatthese mountain ridge ribs,battered by the rain i used to dance in (with you)could be loved again, toldi will always find youi will always love youi will always need youat 2am, your heart against my cheststaring at the mooni can't prove anything anymorebut this shadow-drowned heartthis bloodshot eyed girl -flesh engraved with your namemaybe one day she will be a poet
beauty (lost)and i swear, this is the last time he'llpin me to the wall(he tells me i'm a work of art,but after all this time, i'm still just a girl)too young, too young, the walls whispertoo late, too late, i sobbecause this battered body,this girl with the scarlet tattoos, she is too tired to escapeand her wings won't work in the rain.and as i suck in air, i wonder, how many more will have to endurethe pain of not being their owni have heard too many screams, all at once(God who i stopped believing in,if you can hear me,let this end, so that when i am walking in the streetswith my child, i can swear,that she will neverhave scars on her back,she will neverhave welts on her heart)
i'd like it if you stayed.i. let's ride off in your car, half past six (and we're still wide awake , we can make this work. let me save your life like you saved mine. let me put out the flames your pack of cigarettes left smoking on the floor, the floor i just cleaned.ii. let me stare into your eyes until they close, let me watch you fall asleep, let me stay with you as long as you'll stay with me, because we both know that nothing lasts forever, and your life will be a little shorter, soiii. please, let me touch you before you go, let me see you underneath your shadows(let me see you underneath my shadows) becauseiv. there's a devil on your back, she caresses y
don't walk too far away from home. i will fall alone herein these silenced streetsand those moonskin knees will be thoroughly scraped,no one to catch me now.i oiled the lampsbefore i lefti dropped the lampsbefore i came(and the night's cold as the withered flowers i left on my porch)
we lost some things along the wayYou started using,shooting me (the gleam of my eyes;the flush of my cheeks;the uneven beating of my heart...)straight into your veins. Now - strung out and reeling -I dare you to try quitting this love cold-turkey.
now i see the stars.there was a time when icouldn't catch my breath whenever ithought about you , (crippled lungs and-boy, you hit me like an asteroid,there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,even withoceans of my tears cried onnights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,andfor a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,weighted to the ground andburied in myself, butwhere there is no light there are no shadows, andsometimes, i wonder if i miss me.yes, yes i do.i may not see the moon, but
for the people with depression.one day, the pressure becomes hard to take.I don't know what to do, only know that it achesThe past is just haunting, and it keeps going onDon't know anything anymore, only that something is wrong.It was the loss of a love, the death of a friendHalf of my heart that I wish didn't endI knew he was gone, but I couldn't believeSo I hid the pain in cuts under my sleevesNo reason to smile, no reason to liveI cut because blood's the only thing I can giveBut now I know that I'm not alone, there's someone who caresOne person's gone but everyone else is still thereI know that it's painful, I know how you feel.I have depression, PTSD, I know that it's realBut one day I got up and hung into lifeAnd day by day, I avoided my knifeI wrote free verse poetry, shed all my tearsDrew all the good things I ever had in my yearsLittle by little, I healed very slowlyIt's not over yet, but I'm not as lonelyWhat I'm trying to tell you is to believe and to hopeYou don't have to die hanging
siren boyonce upon a november,i fell in love with your eyes(you laughed quietly at my pride, and pressed your lips into my neck anyway) please,justbreathe me in again, hold me close, even if only for a second or do i need to imagine you therebecause the winds do rip and the storms do tearand you, you were always my shelter but today i'm drowning in your arms sothe glass will only break
it was just yesterday.empty staircases,the sky's still full ofstars.(hollow chest cavities, my wrist are torn with scars)i am just a homesick girl.please, tell me it's not over,don't let me disappear.
NaPoWriMo Day 3i don't love you,i have never longed for you inthe bitterness of winter,the floods of green springsright now i'm telling myself sorry that i ever thought so(what a fool of a girl i am)i hopethat one day you find yourangel girl, moonskin, teeth and all,promise me.promise me you won't say my name like that, ever again.
nineit's funny how carefulwe are aboutdamaging ourselvesproperly
they told me no one could love a girl with scars.i told them that i could love myself.
society.We live in a societywhere obese men can't be beautiful.We live in a societywhere being African American automatically makes us criminals.We live in a societywhere women are looked down upon as whores and sluts.We live in a societywhere having
.she never carried enough oilto keep her own life burning
...And the spaces betweenthesewords, are likemy heartbetween beats.irregular and unsatisfied.[you kept my heart beating .]
anticipationI gaze uponparted lips and wonder, will they capture mine?
.she'll hold him tight tonightand dread the coming mo(u)rning
...when death put its handon my shoulder,it shivered;i was alreadycold.
twothese scars will meltwith time, but the emotionsare forever branded tothe hour that birthed them andthe strangers they belong to
ugly/beautya goddess taught me how to carvehighways into my arms, but she neversaid my blood would cease flowing. soi washed my veins with ink and lead,turned my sorrow inside out, and neverspoke to her again.
.and this beating in my chestmight just be the banging of someonetrying to break free.
dangle that carrot a little closer to my faceI was never one for gameslike monkey-in-the-middle,my feet plantedtoo firmly in the groundfor me to win. But even as you stand there,heart raised just out of reach,I can't keep from rolling uphigh on my toes, hopeful fingersstretching out...
wishesi am not a flower,if youtear outa piece of me,stomp ithalfway between cracks in the sidewalk,it will only die.butour lips fit togetherperfectly, likeall the broken pieces.[maybe it was just a dream.]