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empty.run through the hallways
sit down in the crowded cafeteria
i have no appetite
no sound but breathing
i can't hear
can't feel my heartbeat
it's too cold for touch
no words on my tongue
I breathe but I'm not alive
just like this piece of paper
Red TearsA cloud over red
fills the empty room
watch me drown
till I am no more
that shouldn't be
tock t h e
tick as it
with every second
tock and when he grows
tock he will stop it tick
Darkness in CalligraphyThe pen is mightier than the sword
With your jet-black heart you
sear through the souls in my story
rip through the pages and burn them in
stacks (fire of water, drowning it all)
Your pen's nib cuts into the paper of
my once white heart, the
darkness will rule because
your words have closed my doors
shut me out from the light and
left me bare with the darkness
Now I'm sitting here, bleeding ink
and pondering heartbreak
because only sword wounds can heal
tape will never work on my ripped out heart
beautiful.We were beautiful.
But our separate worlds have broken us apart
embedded its shadows in our muted screams
So let it cut up our love and snip it into p i e c e s
And let tragedy crawl into existence with its wilted bamboo limbs, let
the ocean wind blow what’s left of it
and we will be inches apart, but still too far to be close.
so let our monsters look like us
with bloody ribs of ink and debarment, empty hearts swallowed by their
I guess we never would've made it anyway. never
I guess our forbidden dreams won't ever come true. ever
But time won’t let me forget &
BloomWinter's diamond snow has gone
From dry dust arises a gleam of gold
h for sunlight
they sing silent songs of joy
hear it in the wind, the trees
endless gardens, endless sky
light from the darkness
For wilted forsythias do not exist here
PoisonedApple trails toxin into
her beautiful veins of blood dyed crimson
Raven hair fans out
Her lively face now still
the blush in her cheeks replaced by the white of the apple's interior
2. complicatedfrom copper wires
we are twisted pinkies and
empty passageways of
stained glass and weighed-down bricks
and spring glory and summer windows
we are deserts
bound by the gravity of your galaxy eyes
we are beautiful
we are silent
and laughter will be joyful when we
see our reflections blended in the pond with duckweed and clear blue blood
we are parted lips of salted ocean breezes
and treacherous as one
but nothing without the other
Bipolar Depression: The Blade
She looks at herself in the mirror.
Her eyes look at themselves dead center.
Her vision slowly drags down her almost bare body.
Her pale skin, Perfection. Unscathed.
Smooth. Angel like.
Her brown eyes’ gaze fall to her hand,
Gripping the Blade.
Her dark eyes were full of lust.
Nothing else was thought.
Her body fills with rage,
The Blade spurs up to her face,
She glides the smooth end of steel
Against her cheek.
She wanted the pain.
She wanted the scars.
Looking into her eyes,
The Blade was placed above them.
Pressure against the delicate skin,
Slicing violently she cursed herself.
Blood streams down her face.
The smell is overwhelming.
The Darkness took her soul.
She licks the blood,
Of cutting her lips open to her cheeks.
Her perfected face is gone.
Limb by limb,
The Blade slices
For the sweet agony
Along the collar bone
Tallied arm and legs
Bloody as hell
She looks at her own reflection.
One last tim
You didn't dare.She smiled,
but it was fake.
but she's about to break.
She reached out,
but no one came,
tried to fake it,
but the pain stayed the same.
This girl, she called to you,
but you didn't care.
Something told you to help,
but you didn't dare.
What would the others say?
The ones who called her a freak.
They may taunt or shun you,
so you choose not to speak.
Then she decides to leave.
Because no one wants her here.
You'll never see her cry.
She'll never shed another tear.
The Dark ForestThe dark forest
It takes you in
And comes when you least expect it
The dark forest
But at the same time it’s your graveyard of memories
As you venture deeper into the darkness
You feel this presence sitting on your shoulder
As it gets comfortable you remember the feeling
And it fills you with fright
The dark forest
Horrible in its own way
You hate being there but you’ve know it for so long
The dark forest
Inside there is no turning back
While you know you don’t want to do this
And as you reach the end you see the a shovel
The presence gets stronger as you pick it up
You walk a little longer until you get to a hole
You jump down inside it and start digging
Slowly but surely you can’t get out
And when you’re trapped there only others can save you
But you’re to insecure to accept the help
Even though the wounds on your arms, tells all your tales
And how you started digging that hole
My Mind...Let's draw a picture,
With a beautiful twist.
It starts on my thigh,
And ends on my wrist.
My eyes give me away,
Though there's a smile on my lips.
I want my bones to protrude,
Especially on my hips.
It's an everyday battle,
Until finally you disappear,
Because you screamed your lungs out,
But nobody wanted to hear.
Cry yourself to sleep,
Another sleepless night,
Trapped in my own fucking mind.
I've been told that dreams,
Can come true.
But they forgot to mention,
That nightmares are dreams too.
So when will I wake up from mine,
Because I'm in a race against time.
Cross My WristsCross my wrists and hope to die,
I will only ever lie
When you ask me if I’m fine
Or if I like this life of mine.
If I had a gun,
I’d put it to my head
And turn bouncy blonde,
Into ruby red.
You want me to stop cutting;
I’ll stop when I’m dead.
The last time I’ll cut
Will be the last thing I see
When I finally put an end to me.
Dying sounds good right now,
Just fading into black
And never coming back
To the agony living brings.
Perhaps you’ll find me hanging,
Or after OD’ing;
Someday soon you’ll find me,
It’s too late now,
I’m too far gone.
Now I’m just a ghost
Of who could’ve been someone.
Flesh torn from gnawed bone
You really thought you were going home?
Uncontrollable cannibalistic instinct
Limitless desire; the funeral pyre
It’s what you were meant for
It’s what you will die for
Psychotic self obsession
Ripping, tearing mindless gore
You’ll never forget what you saw
A mockery of a failed existence
Crumbles to ash with the sands of time
Desperate to retain possession
Of useless pointless hopeless dreams
Feeling the grip tightening
Never fading, always hiding
Waiting for vulnerability, the time to strike
A soulless depiction of life once lived
A sculptor’s interpretation
Of thoughts once had
Hear it sputter painful words
Useless pitiful spineless worm
You’ll never learn
This world owes you nothing
And no one cares
CruxI’m only sure of two things:
I still carry pieces of your cross on my back and
lilies were your favorite flower
Those last three months-
A silent drive home from the mall
purse full of stolen makeup
Dinners with my family where no one
bothered to make the conversion
Endless hours spent looking at paint samples
and I was smart to not buy the brushes
The line at the liquor store blended
with the lines on the road
At the same time with you
Then it was summer and you talked me into a country drive. We stopped on the side of the road to watch a cow giving birth in the center of a pasture. But, the calf never rose to its wobbly legs or felt the heat of the Indian summer….it never tasted dandelions.
The mother stood by the calf’s body
long past nightfall
and I stood by yours
long after that
Was this what we meant when we said forever?
My MaskI put my mask on.
Time to face the day.
Time to plaster on a smile.
Time to pretend it's okay.
I want to crawl in bed.
Leave the world behind.
You're too ugly to go out,
whispers my mind.
I know I am,
I stifle a cry.
I want to leave,
I want to die.
My mask is done,
and I have to go.
Time to face the people.
Time to put on my show.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More