beautiful.We were beautiful. But our separate worlds have broken us apartembedded its shadows in our muted screamsSo let it cut up our love and snip it into p i e c e sAnd let tragedy crawl into existence with its wilted bamboo limbs, letthe ocean wind blow what’s left of it away,and we will be inches apart, but still too far to be close.so let our monsters look like uswith bloody ribs of ink and debarment, empty hearts swallowed by theirdarkness I guess we never would've made it anyway. neverI guess our forbidden dreams won't ever come true. everBut time won’t let me forget &
stargazersShe lives in a river of stars, intricately weaved into the eyes of Eden it's justthe way his roses find beauty in her bramble-berry eyeswatching the sun sink into the oceantogetherwaiting for the night sky I will always remember him, eyes dancing, hiding her broken heart Rainwater, hurricanes of lonely gray spilling onto the cloudy sidewalk. The stars are gone tonight.
BloomWinter's diamond snow has gone From dry dust arises a gleam of gold h for sunlight c a eR they sing silent songs of joyhear it in the wind, the trees endless gardens, endless skylight from the darknessFor wilted forsythias do not exist here
Darkness in CalligraphyThe pen is mightier than the swordWith your jet-black heart you sear through the souls in my storyrip through the pages and burn them in stacks (fire of water, drowning it all)Your pen's nib cuts into the paper of my once white heart, the darkness will rule becauseyour words have closed my doors shut me out from the light andleft me bare with the darkness Now I'm sitting here, bleeding inkand pondering heartbreak because only sword wounds can healbecausetape will never work on my ripped out heart
2. complicatedfrom copper wireswe are twisted pinkies andempty passageways ofstained glass and weighed-down bricksand spring glory and summer windowswe are desertsand forestsbound by the gravity of your galaxy eyeswe arecomplicatedwe are beautifuland anonymouswe are silentand laughter will be joyful when wesee our reflections blended in the pond with duckweed and clear blue bloodwe are parted lips of salted ocean breezesand treacherous as onebut nothing without the otherit's complicated.
1. ~an introductionLittle butterflies, drunk on nectar and springloveDear, dear, RoseWe have been through so muchfrom broken w r i s t s to bleeding heartand we have been torn. tilleven darkness gave no joy andWhat we could have beenhaunted what we were and weren'tAnd really, what does heartbreak mean when they tear our heart out?Isn't that what they say?But I ,no, we, can feel it.Dear, dear RoseWho are you and IWho were weAnd who did we become Little birds, don't be afraid I am also one of you, withwings of hope and ink and when we are on the ground higher , I can fly
VermillionStep out in my gardens arevermillion bleeding hearts, drooping withthe weight of the sky,little bluebird, don't look for him,don't break your hearthearts are so easilytorn a p a r ttopieces, love, don't you gobre aking and s h a t t e r i n g,don't you start, little bluebird,these gardens aren't for you, don'tcome, you will find nothing butsorrow, nothing but forget-me-nots, and thosevermillion bleeding hearts
dear depression,(master of the umbra)i hate you.broken whispers, lonely promises,you are the worst of lovers, owning all, butnever seeming to be satisfiedeven with your name branded scarlet into my wrists.i am no longer the golden songbird as when you first met me,but yetyou still hang onto meyour clawsraking across my heart likemy pen ripping across the bloodstained page, likelightning across the skies, (vengeanceraining down from the gods i used to believe in)"don't let them catch you,"you breathed into my ears.an ounce of life, in exchange for a cloak of darkness (i thought i'd only stay one night)the fog was sluggish and deep.so blinded, I hidin the shelter you offered me(i still hear those echoes)my rib cages are my prison bars, my heart bound by these chains...you chopped off my wings and left bleeding stumpsand told me i was never bound for the skies.(shattered glass, lifeless eyes)Set me free.
your crashing tides.theres silken sand between my toesbut nothing compares to that endless sea of bluewaves everchangingThe tide goes in and out, .Free.but there's a barrier of glass between you and me. And, chained, I WonderIf my heart is made of broken seashells, [the weathered sand beneath my own feet.]
NaPoWriMo Day: 1I’ve got 30 daysto defy Icarus:teach this rose thorn hearthow to fly.[ All I want to be is the space between the stars. ]But, I’m here,ripping holes in blank pageswhile nursing nebulae knuckleswith white plastered walls.
Isabelleisabelle,you are nothing butan injured bird,losing your wayin a world of uncertainties.your wingshave been clipped,by their ignorant words(not good enough, not good enough)and you’re grounded:stuck.unable to riseto the light of the sun –instead you’re alone below,drowning in the dropletsof their adamant rain.not good enough,they whisper once again,not good enough…
When one door closes...I’ve heard the sayingWhen one door closes, another opens,I felt the disconnect and the lock clicked shutIt closed for just a momentThen opened so hardThat it spun meI went down in a haze of mixed emotions,Not over my loss but feeling for you,My wants mangling each other,Eating each other alive,Until there was nothing leftBut meWhen the tears stoppedand you were there, waitingI ran toward youWanting change, wanting freedomEmbracing an uncertain futureFor loveYour eyes were like the oceanA swirling punch bowl of blue and white,So inviting in their danceSo severe was the pull of your undertowThat I dove right inWithout a life preserverThrough your door I swamWith a tail like a mermaidPropelling me face firstInto your warm water embrace,With a smileMeant just for youIt wasn’t what I wantedAt the time...It was unexpected,It was love laid out at my feetIn a trail of hot sandThat burned my toesUntil you carried me
With YouHold me tight,Please don't go.I'm falling apart,falling down so low.Like a rag doll I'm tearing,seams falling apart.I can't sew them back up,wouldn't know where to start.I need your help,but I'm too scared to say,too scared to reach out,tell you to stay.You're my only hope,like it or not.My chances are slim,but I'll give it a shot.So hold me up,don't let me fall,just tell me it's okay,answer my call.That's all you need to do,and I'll be alright.With you by my side,I'll stand up and fight.
Throw It AwayStop!Put the blade downYes, youDon't you think it's time for something new?A new attitude, a new way of dealing withThe things they put you throughA new way to surviveA new way to pull you throughI knowYou may not see it nowBut if you hold onYou'll seeIt always gets better somehowSo throw your self-destructive toolAway and join the fightWe'll show those in painThat there's always a lightAnd I know you think that no one's thereAnd I know you think that no one caresBut the things they said, they're not trueThey're only trying to hurt youIf you go through with thisIt'll only get worseSo just throw it awaySo just throw the guilt awayAll the anger, all the painAll the fear and all the shameJust throw it all awayOn the edgeThere's a girl stood looking downAnd she's so far upShe can see the whole townLittle did she knowThe very next dayThey'd take back all the things they sayBut now she'll never find outWait it outJust wait and seeIt will get better for b
Secret WordsI know you need help.It's so plain to see.Please don't hurt yourself.You can count on me.I'll hold you when it's tough,wrap you up tight.I know life is rough,but I'll be your light.I love you, I do.You're everything to me.you don't believe it's true,but I want to set you free.I'll be your rockwhen all your strength is gone.I'll be your lockwhen everythings gone wrong.So please don't cry,my love, my life.I know you want to die,but I'll help you through the strife.Because I'll be there to catch youwhen everything falls apart.I love you, it's so true,with all of my heart.
VaseA broken heart can be excavated.Damaged tissue can be scrupulously removedand the cracks can be sealedwith the molten trails of gold solidified.The upturned cavity,once proofed against further damage,can become a pulsing vase for tulips,because even though your heart has been brokenit is still valuable beyond comparison.
Perfection is an IllusionPerfection is an illusionAs heaven is to Earth,A painted cloudy paradiseInspired by human dearth.Flawless is the pole starLeading man to fabled land,Still distant the PolarisFrom man's conceited hand.Yet perfection's only flawThat it will never know,Perfection appears resplendentDraped in fault's shadow.
Smiling HandsBefore myself lays this quiescent ocean.Its vastness, further than my eyes do see.Behold the serenity of these storm-less waves,Tranquil in their infinite movements.As I write this, I see a star-filled sky.Alone on a bench; basking in the calming sea sounds.This puzzle; it is missing just one piece.Another sound; my heart still does quite cry.This tranquil serenity; it does not matter!Eyes in my chest; it sees a different cloud.Snowing forever from these grays; will it ever stop?It will; when we are greeted by gracious greens.These gracious greens, grasping the puzzle piece.Forget these serene scenes and this blasted bench!This missing puzzle piece; this puzzle, will complete.Yet I see it now, trodden in her smiling hands.
Pack-a-dayA diamond queenand seventeen,smoking pack-a-day dreamsfor 95 cents more thanzirconium-falls in slim nicotine(but the cancer in ashtrays neverstops anyone from trying.)There’s truth in gusts of sleep,while I struggle in thesecurity of windbreakingas heaven opens up to scream.
we all fall downI.my throat did tasteof wildfire,butterflies croakingin my eyes(if only I'd some keroseneto set these lies afire)II.they desired memy crows to hide...but they made nightand night did makea critical November;radiation killing cancerIII.a stem for you,a thorn for me;a briar mindto hide unseenand two cents guessingthat Jerichonever feltthe lonelinessof security.
9729 kilometers away, to be exact.i have these bones like flowers-fragile and finely plucked,these lily stargazersare kissing ocean beds,making love to sirenswhile yearningfor a taste of herwander(lust).i want to tape maps to my limbs-throw caution to the windas i gather upevery love letter receipt,from every false attempti ever wrote her& forget for just a momentthat even stilllight-years away,she does not love me.
Mankind likes it brokenMadness slipped inside of me like a hand beneath my blouse—thieving and too truthful—while i find myself in fetals, wondering where Autumn went… crushed beneath someone’s shoes, as i feel crushed beneath these memories?i’m nobody’s treasure (just a no one in a body), and though this mouth is paralyzed, i scream these words ten fingers, to grasp at everything i’ve lost. But what’s the point? i rise from moondust graves when the sun peaks my head in halos; and i hope, and i pray, that this day is one of life… but every time, i am sent to death in stars and in the shadows of the dark. And i fear i’ll only be disasters, thrown down the stairs ahead of life, while i try to learn to fall in ways that will not break my neck, my arm—my spirit…but every ‘wild’ needs a ‘broken,’ and i’m afraid He’s beat you to it; mankind just likes it broken.
Spoken Fingers swiftlytrace the words,catch them inyour palm. Before you letthem see a world,which they willonly harm. Quickly catchthe echo's tail.What's the sumof us? Ask yourselfwhat it means.Too much,or not enough? Fingers swiftlytrace the wordspull them fromthe air. "Please away"You wish for naught.The words willlinger there.
phoenix girlThere is a mother inside of me,calling the ink and the summersto blanket the cardinals nestingwithin the embers of her smile.Never have I thought myself maternal(I care for my wailing spinewith the distaste of smoker lungsatop a writhing beauty’s lips)but perhaps our birdsong is relatedbecause she sings the same, sweet tune as Ibut from the comfort of a frostbitefar deeper than my own.There is a mother inside of me,and I do not question why or how…but I’ll nest in her regardless,beneath the embers of her smile.Who knows… perhaps she is a phoenix.
.I beat my head into the glass shop windows – as if that would knock you out of me – clutching at my heart to assure this aching chest that I still live. Perhaps, in a way, it was the motivation I needed to keep punching pulses into my wrist. (I ache more acutely than any time before, or for any person before.)I know this is a cheesy love-thing (one I thought I’d never write, and therefore can’t find it in me to name), but I can’t help but fill you into every single word and page - and therefore need to ink you out. I need to breathe you, need to tell you… tell you that sometimes, just sometimes, I can’t help but hate you – and love you – for ripping me open to bleed him out; and I’ve tried to grip at the scars that see him differently. But he will never be you, and I’m starting to doubt that I’ll ever feel whole, while I marvel over not why I still breathe, but how, when sometimes all
my requiem, your gospelyou send higher than Everclear,until i see jesus, wearingsalvation clouds and frownsyou send higher,until i am helium and spaceshipsbound for Sol or Vega,burning through addiction cratersfaster than euphoria.
for she is a sinnerAngels eat her alive,the way she deserves:molting downy feathersin a hermetic esophagus—like her lungs,pooled with wordsuntouchedin stillness.She is choked by halos,and expecting expansionsspanning clouds and Nilesof rosemary tears;( yet no ocean cried,and no tsunami felt,will rid the torture justifiedin each holy touch uponsoiled cheeks: wet Liar’s runoff.It falls so easily down her throat,to drown more words. )and she almost warns themto stay away: She is filth.but they lovingly caressand they carefully sinktheir glittering pearls into hercalling husk…just the way she deserves.
BrighterSing to the darkness of the night skyin hopes that the stars will shine brighter
Sing to the darkness of the night sky
in hopes that the stars
will shine brighter